This is a two-series crap. Period. Before I start talking about the Krishna Janmabhoomi movement, it is important to understand the historical context to this. Hence, the first part of the series...
Sometime recently, way before the 10th century, Islam was born. Hinduism, as they say, pre-existed everything mortal. Both were peace-loving, co-existent communities until two incidents changed that forever. A learned Guru (Aryabhatta??) got frustrated with a Muslim moron and invented ZERO while grading his Sanskrit papers. The Muslims felt discriminated. In an unrelated incident, a Hindu Jain was slapped by a Muslim when they were fighting for the same wall to pee upon. Later, the Jain even apologised to the Muslim for having 'provoked' him. The Muslim felt offended by the Gandhian overtures.
Once these news spread, the Muslims/ Afghans/ Turkish from all crazy places invaded our country and heaped tremendous atrocities. Hindus - as always - had lumpen good-for-nothing kings ruling them; hence, they succumbed with little resistance. Since Hindus had put up cows and temples all over the place, the Muslims enjoyed razing them - it became their favorite pastime. Babar - a Mughal emperor - was the most accomplished 'demolisher', his career high-point being razing of some non-descript Ram Mandir near Ayodhya. Since Ram was not around by then, there was no one to resist the 'Babar-ic' demolition of the mandir.
Centuries later, another person named Gandhi had the moronic thought that it was possible to unite the Hindus and Muslims. To this end, he sacrificed a lot to the point of self-destruction. The end-result was a partition of land, people and mind. The 'lousy' Muslims were separated from India with lots of land, resources and alimony. The 'more lousy' Muslims were retained in India. That was the first recorded incident of minority appeasement. The Hindu frustration with this 'minority appeasement' resulted in the formation of a few radical right-wing organisations - VHP, RSS and the ilks - with several fundies attempting to re-write the Hindu philosophy (birth of Hindutva!!). In the early 1990s, the Kar Sevaks - in a stupid attempt to reverse-engineer the Babri Masjid ended up destroying it. Actually, they wanted to only 'move' the mosque, but ended up destroying it!! That - in history books and webspace - got firmly entrenched as the RAM JANMABHOOMI MOVEMENT. Soon, the country had only two kinds - the communal Hindu on one end, and the pseudo-secular Hindu-bashers, communists and (of course) minorities at the other end. Many argue that the Gandhi family do not fall into either of the above categories - they are a category of their own.
Exactly two decades later (2009 AD), the political arm (or 'farm'??) of the Right-wing seculars got thrashed in the elections. They needed another alibi to get back to the main-stream. At around the same time, a megalomaniac 'Dalit ki beti' (henceforth, we will call her 'Behenji') was on a memorial-building spree, ribbon-cutting her own statues every other day. Soon, there were no ribbons available in the market. So, Behenji decided to build a castle for herself. As they say, history repeats itself!! In an interview, the renowned astrologer - Bejan Whisky-wala - propounded that Behenji was actually a re-incarnation of that Mughal 'invader' BABAR!! This became the breaking news for days to come, furhter aggravating the Hindu right-wing. But, then I am digressing...
In order to build her grand mansion, Behenji had demolished everything within the parameters of her 1 lakh sqft abode. That was indeed 'Babar-ic'. And, again, the mistake she made was not to get good archaeologists to advise her. With the completion of this mansion, suddenly the Dalits of India got empowered. Lives of a million Dalits got transformed overnight. As for the non-Dalits in Behen-ji's empire, they were still trying to figure out if they were Sharma or Verma or Mishra.... A biographer of Behenji published a treatise titled "The taxonomy of Dalit-ism". Though, generally too complex for mere mortals, it essentially said that Dalit-ism is like an infinite loop that goes round and round into itself. Philosophically, a Dalit is a 'he' as well as a 'she' as well as 'it'. One of the readers published a counter-thesis titled "The taxonomy of Behen-ji!!". Ooops... .. I am digressing again...
OK..... Meanwhile, someone informed the Right-wing Hindu fundies that Behenji's mansion has been built on a site where a jail existed some milli-centuries ago. Lord Krishna was born in the same jail. The Right-wing party wanted to celebratethe 6427th birthday of Lord Sri Krishna - and they wanted to do it at the same spot where the jail existed. Needless to mention, this seeded the KRISHNA JANMABHOOMI MOVEMENT - a frenzy for another Ayodhya-like movement....
(.... to be continued...)
Now... now... now... Let us use our combined creativity and blogging skills to 'write' PART TWO of this article!! Buddies... just write your contents in the "Comments" section that continue this story, the condition being that it should be humorous with no 'extremist' offences to any individual, religion or sect. All contributions will be duly acknowledged...
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